Line drawing of a female torso

Lump: a story about breast cancer.

3.5 years ago, when I first got diagnosed with breast cancer my impulse was to try and pin down some of the emotional turmoil I was going through.  I ended up reaching for a pen (ok a keyboard) and I started to write.  Once I started, I couldn’t stop, and the words poured out.  Angry, scared, shocked, confused but most of all I guess, they were honest.  I just wanted to talk to myself and my partner, David, about the blunt reality of what that cancer diagnosis felt like from the inside.  Many, many thousands of words later we discussed making the private more public in the hope that it might help others so, quietly, somewhat covertly, I put it up as a blog, kind of hoping it would never be found.  It was found and the comments from its many readers found a mixed response in me.  I was delighted that my words seemed to hit the mark for so many people whilst at the same time being profoundly sad that so many others were going through similar emotional turbulence for whatever reason in their lives.  I may not have intentionally written for anyone else, but it seemed I had anyway. 

PEN’S NOTES ON EVERY EPISODE HERE ↓

Ep.4: Welcome to the club

Ep.4: Welcome to the club

Before the MRI I went to visit the Maggies Centre with my friend Deirdre.  Me and Maggies.  2 weeks ago I hadn’t stepped inside a Maggies Centre apart from when I was recording a programme about cancer.  I talked to experts and heard people’s stories and experiences and no doubt nodded in what I thought was an appropriately empathetic I’ll-never-be-one-of-you-guys way.  Now I’m here because I’ve joined the club.  Nothing prepares you for joining this club. 

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